In the Beginning...

 Somewhere in the Carolinas

Spidey found this attick on my own, I'll hab you kno.

Then came the others, much to Spidey's chagrin. Yees, dey can be useful, but an arachnid needs his space. Cobwebs to hang, wardrobe to store. 

A Spider's werk is nebber done. Deese humans... clumsy, but big. They built a house and did nuttin wit di attick! Spidey fix. 

All Spidey wanted was to bring the attick to its full glory, arachnid style. It was going just fine, tank you berry dutch, but den one night Spidey woke to a fluttering, and there he was, lying on the floor...

    Vlad take it from here. You tell it wrong. Peter Vladimir Drakul II, Prince of the Northern Wood, Wallachia. Yes, yes, I know your question. Drakul, like Dracula? He's my father's father's second cousin. Why he mutilated the name, I do not know. Vanity, Vlad suspects. He also likes to mutilate, on occasion. My family was considered a bit odd by local standards as we dislike the human form. Zee Batty Draks, they called us. 

    I Digress. I left the northern wood many centuries ago to find a home more suitable to family standards, such as they are. I had vent to a party that night with my fellow Vampiric Bats, and vouldn't you know it but someone spiked zee Blood bowl. Vlad was talking to a couple of cute lady bats one moment and zee next I was flying through a vindow and hit my head.

    I voke up on zee floor. Dat's vhere he found me, stunned and out of flap, like a common vampire stumbling on a dance floor, only I vas alone. Zen he came out.

    When the floor started crawling it was a bit of a shock, as you imagine. I was lying there wondering how a floor could crawl when suddenly the wood began shouting at poor Vlad, as if my head wasn't already bringing me to life! (Not something a vampire wants to do, trust me)

VLAD! Spidey's story! As Spidey was saying...

Spidey rushed out stark naked. Being a proud and hands on... errr... handSOME Brown Recluse, that blind bat couldn't tell Spidey from the floor. Di nerb of him! Spidey was in full wryghts to just toss high hindness's black hindness out into di grass, but before I could tink to grab him he threw up on my nice pine floor.

One pool of blood all those years ago and you just can't let it go, yes? 

SHUSH! Spidey had been in di middil of webbing a letter to my Black Widow cousin, and now there was blood all over the webbing. Spidey furious. 

I thought the floor was about to bite me

AND YET, Spidey counted to 8 and remembered rule 16 of di Arachnid code: nebber byte what you won't wrap, and what honest spider would waste good webbing on a bat like dat?

Vell, on that we agree. 

What the boys didn't know is that they weren't alone. What they thought was an abandoned attic was actually one of my hideaways. 

©️ 2024, Accountec, LLC