Hospital Staff

 Everybody's got a voice right? Well, I heard a few voices in the hospital. Only these were real. From technicians to nurses to doctors to whatever their positions were. It wasn't just one or two. There was a clear message. One they wanted me to send.

That message was "fuck off".

They were quite passionate about this message. So I gotta pass it on. As a courtesy.

How do you know when you have a problem? When the hospital staff is literally instructing you on how to tell people in your life to fuck off. And I gotta respect that. Because people do get pissed off. They get pissed off when members of the community are having other members of the community moved from this center to that center to this hospital to that hospital and getting a new label every day. It does piss people off. Especially if those members of the community are trying to manage the medication of other members of the community, generate referrals out of thin air, contradict the orders of the hospital or the outpatient psychiatrist or the counselor or this person or that person. And if it keeps happening, there will be a hit list. Not mine. 

Why am I trying to walk this middle road? Because I think the centers are tired. 

Yeah people get tired. I'm trying to keep my head straight in all of this. I need fewer opinions. I need less attention. 

But no, I'm the name! You know the one. It's on the documents. I'm the yes sirs and thank yous and the pleases. That's who I am. The name. Maybe I'm the last to realize. 

And what's with all the moving standards? every day a new standard. And it's always with strings. More strings then you can count. Does the world have enough problems yet? It starts with the vague standards. Then as soon the work begins the standards change. No they'll never be met. Because they will always be different. Every second of every day.

And then it's the, but you're the mental health advocate! Or you're the mentally ill, or a drug addict! You got another new label for me? Do I need to save the world? Is it my job to go from center to center, preaching the word? But have hope! Tomorrow is a new Center! here's your commandments:

1. Thou shalt take thy medication

2. Thou shalt shut thy mouth and play along

3. Thou shalt fake being interested

4. Thou shalt maintain thy last name

5. Thou shalt remain guilty

6. Thou shalt run around

7. Thou shalt cast blame

Believe it or not, pissed off people, there's someone in your court. She's not very popular right now. But she's there. Go ahead and pass the blame along, people. You know who you are. let's all pass it around.

Does everyone have a voice? Yes. Has there been enough talking yet? I hope so. I don't like pissing people off. It's happened a time or two.

Where is the middle road in all this? Cause I'm walking a fine line here. Let's not zig zag too much.

Is any one of these people perfect? NO! Am I trying to tear people down? NO. I don't like doing that. But occasionally I have to call people out, as stubborn as they may be. 

Can we all shut up and go home yet?

I gotta let people have a voice. And those voices are getting loud. And those voices are not in my head. And I can't ignore them.

Do we have enough voices yet? Do we need a petition?

No, I don't own my home. I'm not proud of that. But where are we gonna send him next? Is there a center lining up for a fake referral? No? Then maybe there is no center for this. Maybe we can't find a hole shitty enough to bury this guy in? Call him what you like. There doesn't need to be a petition. Because some voices are real. And loud. and angry. Occasionally, I have to listen.

I don't like doing this. But some things you can't hide. Not even in shadows.