Internist Followup

The blood pressure was 149/92. Repairs are underway. 

Everywhere I go, I get comments. To the store, out to eat, in the parking lot, at the library, everywhere.

Checkers keep checking. But my stomach has calmed down. I've been eating more. 

When I volunteered at crisisline, I heard many things. At times, we had to work with the police. At times, 911. All sorts of problems. On the main line. On Julie Valentine. On Safe Harbor. Some of the things I said then, I wouldn't say now. Some of the things I didn't fully understand, I understand better now. Some of the strange behavior. Some of the attitudes. The thoughts. It makes more sense. There were hospitals that threatened people with restraining orders then. They do it now too. Trauma works in weird ways. There were people that wouldn't leave other people alone no matter what. That hasn't changed. There were people who were in bad situations. Who could have left. But this was their home. They wouldn't leave. There were people that called regularly. That we knew by name. I can still remember a name or two. But that was a long time ago. Some things never change. 

You get less heat by keeping your head down. You get less heat by working with the system. But you don't get change. You stay the same. Day after day. They will always be people trying to drag you back, drag you down. Sometimes closing one's ears becomes necessary. A survival mechanism. People always talk. And yet, life does go on. They don't like the places I shop. The food I eat. The way I live. The people I associate with. There's always something to criticize. They want me gone. Or at least quiet. 

So I keep the doctors informed. At home I hydrate. I run those nutrients, meds, and the stress through my system. Day by day. I close my ears when I have to.