MIP March 2025

What did learn from MIP? I learned what to filter out. What limits to set. They didn't like that I was there. Again. But I thought of what key people have told me. The psychiatrists that follow me, the counselor that follows me, and the psychologist from the outpatient program. Avoiding making friends with dysfunctional people. Ignoring their games and their misguided comments. Filtering things out. Not being so focused on names. not playing different people against each other. sticking to basic truths. What things to ignore. When to say enough is enough. Shutting down gossip and not buying into beliefs that are not healthy. When I need to be clear. When I need to make threats. How to process and let go of what remains. I was there for a week. I did a lot of thinking. There are people whose advice remains guiding principles. The rest, unfortunately, I have to let roll off. I've had a lot of mentors. I have gotten a lot of good advice. But I have to choose the advice that works for me. I did very little talking. I was very careful about what I bought into. Hospitals and centers are full of influences and advice. Be careful what you buy into. Sometimes I have to heed my own counsel. playing musical advisors or musical influencers... yeah you can experience a lot. But it can lead you down dark paths. Slowly or all at once. Can't please everyone. I'm choosing my people carefully. I'm filtering some things out. I've had trouble trusting psychiatrists. Some of them can be slippery or cold. They don't know everything. I can't expect them to. Yet as much heat as I get for relying on them, as hard as I find it to communicate with them, I liked what that one and the outpatient one are doing. As far as coordination of care, I signed the necessary releases after they discharged me, and whether people like it or not, I'm keeping the same doctors and other medical staff. I can't play musical medical staff. But I'd rather not return to the Memorial medical campus anymore then I absolutely have to. I'm being more careful what I say. That's not paranoia. That's boundaries. I'd rather not involve more people in these hallucinations or PTSD or whatever any more than necessary. To me that's boundaries. Yes, I live by myself. Yes, I don't go out much. No, it still doesn't seem like a good idea to do so. No, I don't know when that will change. And there will always be people that resent me for being who I am. So stay out of my life. Don't get involved. If you know you don't like me, don't be around me. You have choices. You send me somewhere else, someone else will find something to dislike about that. I can't make my own referrals. If no one makes a referral to gateway, I can't go there. No one has. No one intends to. I don't see how it would help but it's not even up to me. I can't go there without a referral. No one is making that referral. Not MIP. Not Brownell. Not the counselor. No one. That is actually, outside of my control. When I have so much medical to focus on, and I'm trying to reintegrate, another center isn't gonna make a difference. If these professionals disagreed, they would have already made that referral. I'm not giving them instructions; they are making decisions. I'm not stubborn. I'm heeding professional advice. I can't tell them what referrals to make. Phoenix is a limited time program. It doesn't fix this. This truly is mental health. Let the professionals do their jobs, mind your own damn business. Stop being fake and controlling. Leave me alone. I don't need that many people in my life. Let me focus on the medical. I can't fake these results. It's not possible. You don't need to talk to me? You don't want to talk to me? Then don't. How much more needs to be said before people shut up and mind their own business? You don't want emergencies? you don't want stress? Just keep you mouths shut and your eyes on your business. I'm trying to do the same. No more advice. Let the professionals do their job. You're pissing them off. Not just me. Them too. MIP. Counselor. ER. No one is happy about this. Stop trying to control me and them. Let them do their jobs. As far as the house, it's completely unclear to me what exactly needs to be thrown away, but I'm cleaning it. But the until the internist says more about the blood pressure, I can only do so much driving and moving around. You're never gonna listen. I could put it in five languages, you'll still be pissed. You have some things to get over too. Mind your own business. You're gonna kill me this way. Running me here and there. Let the professionals do their job. I'll probably never know what makes you happy. I'm tired of trying. Stay out of my life unless you actually want to be in it. Whatever you think I am. Let that go. Whoever I am, take from that what is actually there, and stop trying to program me. One day you'll have to actually listen to something I say and really hear it, or stop listening and being around me entirely. In the meantime, let me mind my own business.