When someone with a dissociative disorder feels overstimulated or high adrenaline, they feel unsafe. For me, I activate the kill switch. I tell someone that seems safe. A professional. No one is in any danger.
Dissociation is much like sleepwalking. Acting on past memories. It's not the same as psychosis, but it looks similar.
I figured out why I said I was thinking of harming my counselor. The same reason I told that employee at MIP i was thinking of harming her all those years ago. Activating the kill switch. The hospital had a half dozen security there. They gave me a shot of antipsychotics, moved me to IMU. Later, I felt safe again, and i was around her again. She was never in danger. I don't remember her name.
But there is a law requiring notification of the person threatened. I knew that. I just wanted my counselor to know I was feeling unsafe. I felt like they were not letting me talk to her. So, I said i was thinking of hurting her. I had done that before. Maybe they contacted her. Maybe she explained. Maybe not. They don't tell me everything. Observing someone over time, you can learn their patterns, even without Dissociation. They are highly alert, just not present or aware.
Some of my talkers have been white, some black, some Hispanic, some Asian. Women or soft-spoken men mostly. I like diversity. My current talkers (including their teams) are rather diverse.
Dissociation happens every day, all around the world. People that have PTSD, DID, Borderline... no diagnosis at all... call it living in the past, call it sleepwalking, dementia, whatever you call it... medication is not great for it. Grounding. The right sensory input. Sometimes you need someone different to do it.
Someone with DID is sleepwalking in a major way. Living in the past. Repeating patterns. I think that Gabapentin makes this worse. Benzos can too. Minipress. Red pill. Minipress can bring you down, but if you're on a large dose, and you come off, then you're walking around looking for what you were doing before. Like with Leaves of September. I was looking for a while. I came off Minipress and I was looking for a while. I bought that gun because I was afraid. I didn't want to be lost forever. I wanted to keep me here. Adrenaline. Dissociation. Patterns. I don't know if the Matrix was referring to Minipress and Propranolol, but one is red and the other is blue. It can be alarming if you don't know what you're looking at. Being calm is the best strategy. Making threats raises adrenaline. Yelling raises adrenaline. There was talk during covid of safe zones. Same concept. People become alarmed, they act on the past. Sometimes there is no danger. People become afraid of Protectors, but that's not really how it works. See, a protector can protect anyone, or even groups of people. It's a safety function. People with conflicting patterns can be dangerous together. Other times people with similar patterns are dangerous together. That's why we talk about systems. Whether internal or external, parts have to flow together. Sometimes, someone with DID can be around others without it, and those others can get the idea that they have DID. Transference. See, trauma counselors understand this stuff. Austen Riggs understands this stuff. Observing patterns, suggestion, managing projection. Using sensory and intellectual tools. DID can be complex, and the antidote is simplicity. Grounding. Calm. Taking breaks. changing mindsets. Some people call it switching. Taking turns. It can happen internally or externally.
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