I like the buproprion. It's orange. My school color. Now, the propranolol's are blue... I look good in blue...
Ativan's yellow... I don't like yellow. Dirty. Pristiq is brown. I like brown. It's a good color... the prilosecs are white and purple like... that's creative... keep taking those... why they make hydroxzine white? I mean, come on!
You take the blue pill, you go back to your life, like nothing ever happened...
You take the red pill, you see how far down the rabbit hole this goes.
I'm hunting wabbits... ders a Psychiatrist around the corner... ready to tell me my fortune and get an insurance payout. How many pills can they manufacture? I'll bury a few out back. See if they grow. Or we can just add them to the water supply. Nevermind fluoride. My teeth ain't broke yet.
Let's see... take a stop down by valium, turn left by klonopin... past what's that version of ativan that lasts longer?
Ah. Minipress. Those were the days... Be careful how you taper, folks. It gets real in a hurry. Thirty eight calibur real. EMS real. You know. The kind that kills people real. Black box warning! Black box warning! we're going down... call Prichards... oh he doesn't want to be bothered... too bad the medical board checked the paperwork. Blame that on Beth. Go ahead. I'm listening. Find an LPC to blame. No? Medical board not buying it? Oh goodness. You can't be serious! They checked the friggin dosage!?! Why would they do that?!? There's gotta to be a social worker that'll buy this shit. Oh wait. Ran outta those. Let's get creative.
Well, maybe if you call the medical board and say shit, they actually check the paperwork... I wonder how I faked his records... or MIP's records...
Naw. They'd never do that. I wonder how many years they check. I wonder how many prescriptions they found. The house was full of pills. Pills everywhere. How many mgs did he have me on? How fast did i come down? How many people do we want labeled ptsd? Finding out day by day... Pills! Get your pills! Step right up folks, name your disorder and you will be drugged. Don't you go talkin to LPCs now! Don't you do that! We are the mindless! Eat and drug, i always say. Here's your symptom journal and your inventory. Don't forget to give positive feedback. This shit don't sell itself.
You want PTSD? take minipress, do not talk to a counselor.
You want adhd? Become an overachiever. Try to save the world and find a psychologist. You'll be drugged by morning. Might have trouble eating, but you'll make it to depression eventually. Then you can look forward to Bipolar.
You want bipolar? Just run yourself into the ground. Suck it up. Try again. It'll look like bipolar after a while.
Get your pills! Come and get it! Shush up about that black box. We don't have black boxes. We have the commercials with happy people on them!
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