Triggers

I don't remember any names from the ER. By design. I don't want to remember your names. I barely remember your faces. Some of you wore masks. I don't need to see your faces. Wear masks if you will. I only remember 3 names from the MIP visit. They mean nothing to me. I do not care who you are. That's not the point. You are not my friends. You are not my family. I do not want to remember your names.

There is one name that is hard to forget. The doctor that has been at MIP the longest. I made the mistake of learning his name. I made the mistake of learning a good bit about him. And now he and I are triggers for each other. There's almost infinite reasons for that. Some are more complex than others. Yes, I still hear your voice. Yes, I know you're there. It took me a while to understand. I am not there to see you. I never intended to end up there. I try to forget you now. Like all the rest. You are not my friends. You are not my family. You work for PRISMA. That is who you are to me. I am trying to forget. I am not trying to remember. The less I remember, the better. I do not need you to know me. I need you to forget.

Right now, no one in this county needs to know me. I am a face. You don't even need my name. I'm not here for you. What I do is not important. It is not going to harm you. You don't need to look me up. I don't need to look you up. I am simply present. I am trying to forget. That is what I need. Nothing else. Once I have forgotten... then there can be more. Don't ask for more right now. You don't want to know me right now. The comments, I can ignore. Just filter me out.